Secrets
by Tenshisonnet
Summary: SeiferxZell, IrvinexNida yaoi. Seifer meets up with an interesting stranger on the school's network. Who is he and what is his secret?
1. Burying Secrets

The bored, lengthy blonde leaned back on his chair before the illuminated flat screen. It had been four hours and eighteen minutes since he crawled into this position and seven cans of Vamp since he'd logged into the garden network. Finished with surfing for good porn or mediocre music, he decided to do the unthinkable, go into a chat room. He'd been in a few when he was younger; they ended up being filled with vile-mouthed pests at three o'clock in the morning, unless you were looking for someone to have cyber sex with, then there were hundreds of willing participants.

He scrolled down the rows of post-midnight chat rooms to only see a couple of interest. After ruling out "I have fangs", "I have gay fangs", and "fang banging", he entered "Leviathan's Cave". Only a few people there so he watched the group interact for a couple minutes before joining in. Hikachu appeared to be outgoing and interesting enough to converse with except for her nasty habit of streaking. SirClaymore was way too obsessed with anything even remotely concerning the medieval period. Finally, iflingpoo had nothing intelligent to say. But in the corner, barely saying much was a certain KungSushi. This person only chatted when something was urgent or they really had an opposing opinion. They seemed to like watching people more than participating themselves. Intrigued, he invited him to a private chat:

_KungSushi:Hello?_

_Scarface:Yo._

_KungSushi:I saw you in Levi's Cave. I haven't seen you there before. You new?_

_Scarface:Yeah. LC seemed like a better name for a chat room than "I have fangs"._

_KungSushi:LOL, yeah. The guys there aren't too bad though. They just wish they could stay up all night and talk about how much their life sucks more than they already do._

_Scarface:I see. I don't think it'd be that great. All the important shit happens during the day anyway._

_KungSushi:I don't know. I think it'd be kinda fun._

_Scarface:How?_

_KungSushi:Well, say there's this guy you like. You could bite them and they'd be yours forever. It's a perk right?_

_Scarface:But what if you got sick of him?_

_KungSushi:Kick his ass out to the curb! LOL_

_Scarface:I suppose . . ._

_KungSushi:Now I'm pretty careful about that sort of thing though._

_Scarface:Now? Did something happen?_

_KungSushi:Ya. It's over now, so it's okay._

_Scarface:Tell me about it._

_KungSushi:You sure? I don't wanna bore you with it._

_Scarface:Go ahead._

_KungSushi:A couple years ago, I was with these few people everyday. I was friends with all of them, but one of them just didn't let me get that close to him even though he was so friendly with everyone else._

_KungSushi:One night, he told me he was never close to me because he liked me so much. After that we were inseparable. Everything we did, we did together. Eat, fight, sleep, bathe, etc._

_Scarface:Sounds good. What went wrong?_

_KungSushi:He asked me to move away with him and live far away from everyone. When I said no, he didn't talk to me for days. I was in agony like he was. He was letting everything fall apart. One night I woke up with him sitting on my chest with a gun at my head. He said that if he couldn't have me to himself, no one ever would._

_Scarface:What did you do?_

_KungSushi:I talked him out of it and we broke up right after that. He still is very protective, but he doesn't scare me like he used to._

_Scarface:Damn, I'd stay away from him._

_KungSushi:He's okay now, so I'm not afraid of him. Anyway, That's why I'm careful. I mean, he was totally the puppy-dog type. Couldn't hurt a fly. Just goes to show._

_Scarface:Most the guys I've dated were just in it for the sex. It's like I have "fuck-bunny" written on my forehead instead of a scar._

_KungSushi:You've got a scar there? I should have figured from the handle._

_Scarface:Yeah. Good thing it's not too big._

_KungSushi:I wish I could touch it._

_Scarface:Why?_

_KungSushi:Sorry, I've got this thing for scars. Just something about them makes me you know . . ._

_Scarface:I understand. I've got this thing for blood. It's not like I get into battle and get all aroused, but if I'm with someone, it gets me excited._

_KungSushi:The one guy I was talking about before had a thing for biting. It was a little strange. Because of that I'm used to pain during sex, and because of the whole sex part too._

_Scarface:I don't follow._

_KungSushi:Nevermind then._

_Scarface:No, no, just explain it to me._

_KungSushi:Well, it's painful anyway, at first._

_Scarface:I see, you're on bottom._

_KungSushi:I don't have to do the work that way. You?_

_Scarface:Top._

_KungSushi:I see._

_Scarface:Hey, your profile says you're from my garden. You wanna meet up sometime? I know I'm being forward, but I wanna meet you._

_KungSushi:You sure? I mean, what if we already know each other from a class or something? What if we end up hating each other? I'd hate to ruin what could be a good friendship._

_Scarface:Yes, I'm sure, even if I hate you and such. We'd be meeting for the first time. Remember that._

_KungSushi:Okay. I want to get one thing straight before we meet._

_Scarface:And that is?_

_Kungì¥Á37 33ð¿3333333333333&w33_

3_bjbjUU3333333333333333333 Ž33733733&s333333333333333333333333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤33333333333333333l33333 3333333 333 3333333 3333333 3333333 3333333 333µ33333333333´3333333 333333 _333333 333333 33

3ì¥Á37 33ð¿3333333333333&w33

3bjbjUU3333333333333333333 Ž33733733&s333333333333333333333333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤33333333333333333l33333 3333333 333 3333333 3333333 3333333 3333333 333µ33333333333´3333333 333333 333333 333333 33

3"Leonhart-sensei of all people?" "Who have you fucked?" "Now we can share porn right?" That was also the same moment when he realized Irvine was bisexual. He'd thought the voices on a couple of Irvine's porno were a little low when he was listening in from the other room. Since then he hadn't had a single week without the cowboy mentioning Leonhart-sensei, Squall's older brother.

Feeling the steaming water wash over every inch off his backside, he ran his hands up and down his chest, caressing his face unconsciously. Every inch he felt further down, the more and more he thought about "KungSushi" and who he might be. Fragments of people he found attractive were puzzled together into this figure, ripped, scarless, a bit shorter than him, perfection for only him to protect and love. Above all, natural. No piercings or weird dye jobs, just simple. Finding his rhythm, the images and feelings from all past unrequited loves dug deeper into his consciousness. Catching up to himself, he was flung onto the shower wall with the flow of his reward. Steadying himself, the face he'd been looking for to fit the body jumped into his mind. A heart-shaped blonde with eyes the color of the sea between two islands and as lonely as the ocean miles from anything. This perfect lover bombarded his consciousness as he slept the day away.

After summer dusk hit, a rude hand flung him out of the arms of his new love. These hands happened to belong to his roommate. He pulled a pillow over his head. "What do you want?" he grunted.

"Come on, tonight's the fireworks at the docks! You said you'd go with me if I didn't get a date, so get out of bed."

He crawled out from under the pillows and muttered, "Fireworks? The docks? What time is it?" he picked up a clock rubbing his eyes. "Shit! It's ten o'clock! We gotta go. I gotta get there before he does!"

"Who does?" Irvine asked, getting ready. When he turned around again, he saw Seifer fully dressed and ready. "How do you do that?"

"Practice," he retorted. "A friend, I'm meeting a friend, now get some pants on."

The pair ran all the way to the shore where a couple hundred Garden students waited on the docks and on the beach for the fireworks to start. At the sight of this, Seifer cursed himself for picking the spot.

"Do you see him?" Irvine asked.

"No," he huffed. "I'm going back."

"You can't! You said you'd take me here!" he argued.

"And I did take you here, now I'm going back to see if he's at the garden."

"But . . . Fine. I'll see you later," he gave up. Once Seifer set his mind on something, it usually went his way.

Seifer turned around only to accidentally crash into his shorter rival who was pacing around furiously. "You waiting for something, Leonhart?"

Squall looked up for a moment seemingly spellbound to something on Seifer's face. Seifer looked down at him in disbelief as the brunette reached for his forehead. "Is it . . . " Seifer thought.

Then Squall smacked him on the forehead.

"What the hell was that for?" Seifer rubbed his forehead.

"There was a bug on you," he said and continued to pace.

"Baka Seifer," he thought to himself. "Of course it's not Leonhart."

Squall looked up and found who he was looking for. "Zell!" he called out.

The shorter blonde walked straight past the pair. In fear of being ignored by the boy, he grabbed his arm to stop him. "Zell."

The boy tore his arm from Squall's grasp with a scoff. "Get away from me, Squall." With that he continued to walk through the crowd with a grimace on his face.

Squall looked at Seifer, "What the fuck was that?"

Surprised at the brunette's new tone, Seifer replied, "I don't know. He doesn't even get that mad when I bug him."

"Actually," Squall corrected him, "he gets a lot worse."

"It's his fault for being so easy to get a rise out of."

"Can you go see what's wrong with him?" Squall asked.

"I'm the last person he'd want to talk to when he's pissed, and aren't you two supposed to be friends?"

"Not lately. Go find out, Seifer," he commanded.

"Yes, sir!" he mocked. As he walked away, the word "prick" slid off of his tongue with its usually finesse.

After a few minutes of searching, Seifer found the small blonde sitting with his back against a beam underneath the dock on the beach. His Prussian eyes lacked their usual vigor. Even Seifer knew something was horribly wrong with the boy. The taller blonde crouched in front of Zell, who was drawing small patterns in the moist sand. Alone under the dock, the two remained silent until the smaller blonde couldn't stand the undivided attention he was getting from the taller blonde. "Go away, Seifer."

He sighed, expecting that sort of reaction. "Look, I'm worried about you. I mean you threw Lionass's arm. I've never even seen you lift a finger to your friends before. If you want to talk, tell me what's wrong."

He merely giggled sarcastically at that. "Tell you? You, the guy who's tormented me for years, the asshole who joined up with the sorceress. Yeah, right."

"I thought you forgave me for that," he said becoming bitter. "You were supposed to be the only one who actually forgave me and meant it." He stood up and began to walk away.

Zell looked away and uttered, "I forgave you. I didn't mean that."

Returning to his position before the blonde, Seifer said, "Then tell me what's wrong. I won't bug you about it, scout's honor."

"Is that supposed to reassure me?" he asked.

"Indulge me."

"Promise not to make fun of me about this?" he asked again.

"Promise! Now get with the telling."

Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, he let his arms crawl around his knees insecurely. "I had a falling out with Squall a while ago, that's why I did what I did earlier. Yesterday, someone reminded me why I should be mad at him. That . . . that bastard," his face turned red as if he might start crying. Then he regained some of his composure. "Then Irvine was trying to protect me again, telling me to stay away from him before he freaked out again."

Seifer tried to follow, but wasn't sure if he was succeeding. "What did Squall do?"

"He tried . . . Fuck, forget about it. The point is I've had a crappy day and on top of it, the one thing that was going to cheer me up today just didn't happen."

"I'm sorry, Zell. If it makes you feel better, you can beat me up."

Taken completely be surprise, Zell asked, "What?"

"All those times I made fun of you and picked on you, you can vent right now to the person who did it to you," he stood up.

Zell watched as Seifer put his boots and coat on the beach and walked into the water with hitched up pants. "Come on, hit me, Chicken."

With a frilled forehead, he threw his shoes onto shore as he ran for the taller blonde with curled fists. Just as he was near Seifer he asked, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I know you hate me for all those things I did. And, maybe if I let you beat the crap out of me, we could be friends," he divulged.

Surprised again by this new effort, Zell let his fists fall. "I can't fight you, Seifer."

"Come on Chicken!" he mocked.

"No!" his blood started to boil.

"You're gonna hate me until it's done, now fight me, Chickenwuss!"

"No," his voice grew softer as his control of his temper began to fade.

"Come on Chickenwuss! 'Cuz if you don't fight me, I'll fight you," he drew his fists up.

Seeing this strange determination in Seifer's eyes, Zell drew his hands up and swung half-heartedly at Seifer, missing horribly.

"If you're gonna fight, do it seriously, Chicken," the last word slivered out. He swung out, barely missing the blonde's face. "Remember all those times I knocked your lunch out of your hands in the cafeteria, or when I stole that pig-tailed girlfriend of yours. All the skirmishes we had in the hallway, or all those Curas I drew from you when we fought together on missions. Remember how you hate me."

All of Zell's defenses fell and he charged Seifer head on. He swung at Seifer connecting him his stomach. Everything he'd meant to do to Seifer landed in that one punch which flung Seifer head long into deeper water. Not seeing Seifer's head poke back out of the water for air, Zell panicked and ran for the submerged hothead. Seifer's face was calm, his eyes closed as Zell picked him out of the water and dragged him to the shore to cast Cura on him. After casting it on him, seeing no hints of breathing, he leaned over to do CPR when his eyes flew open. He sat up and coughed up a little water. "Don't get too excited, Chicken."

"Damn it, Seifer! I thought I killed you! Don't do that again!" his breathing was heavy with regret. "Fucker."

"I didn't know ì¥Á37 33ð¿3333333333333&w33

3bjbjUU3333333333333333333 Ž33733733&s333333333333333333333333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤33333333333333333l33333 3333333 333 3333333 3333333 3333333 3333333 333µ33333333333´3333333 333333 333333 333333 33

3ì¥Á37 33ð¿3333333333333&w33

3bjbjUU3333333333333333333 Ž33733733&s333333333333333333333333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤33333333333333333l33333 3333333 333 3333333 3333333 3333333 3333333 333µ33333333333´3333333 333333 333333 333333 33

3n we're friends now?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Now let's get you back to the Garden."

"What about the fireworks?" he asked.

"Fuck the fireworks! Let's go. We'll be able to see them from the Garden anyhow," he helped him to his feet.

After being hoisted up, he protested, "I can walk."

"Good, then I won't have to haul your ass all the way back."

They passed their classmates in silence as the fireworks started. Seifer noticed Squall talking to Irvine near the shoreline, but passed them without a second glance. Zell didn't seem to notice as the worried expression never really left his visage. The rest of the walk was quiet with exchanged glances. Zell accompanied Seifer to the infirmary and sat outside the room waiting. Not long after Seifer disappeared into the room he reappeared with a small smile.

"You okay?" Zell asked.

"Yeah, she told me to cast a Cura and get lots of sleep."

Zell led the way back to the dorms without a worried expression, but a sad one.

Noticing this, Seifer patted Zell on the back a couple times. "Your day got better right?"

"I suppose. I mean we're better, but I didn't get to meet him," he whispered to no one in particular.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothin'," he quickly recovered.

"You wanna come over?" Seifer offered. "I mean I gotta do a couple things, but then we can watch a movie or go train."

"Maybe for a bit. I'd like a little time to sulk alone."

They walked through the deserted, open hallways to the dormitory.

"I can't let you do that," he said as he opened the door to his dorm and threw his coat onto his bed.

Zell closed the door behind them and mumbled, "I've never been in your room before. Kinda expected it to be creepy."

"I heard that," Seifer said from the other room.

Zell walked into the other room to find Seifer typing a message to another student on the Garden mainframe. Not wanting to pry, Zell found the refrigerator and dug out drinks.

Seifer on the other hand, quickly finished a message to KungSushi apologizing for picking the wrong spot, leaving his dorm number. "I hope he actually visits," he thought. "I'm done. What you wanna do?" he asked.

His shorter counterpart threw him a can of Vamp and asked, "What is this stuff?"

"It's an energy drink. I sleep at strange hours, so if I need a boost to stay awake, these do the trick. They don't taste bad either."

He took a swig and processed the taste. "Kinda metallicy, Like . . ."

"Blood," he finished his sentence unconciously.

An awkward silence ensued.

Zell laughed a bit to Seifer's dismay.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just talking to some guy about blood the other day. Kinda sucks when you get creature blood on you."

"Yeah, sometimes it takes forever to get off of my coat."

"Why do you wear that heavy thing?" he asked.

"Why do you wear those big shorts?" he retorted.

"They look cool."

"You think so, huh? Well that's why I wear my coat."

"Right," he rolled his eyes. "Well, I gotta get up for a mission tomorrow, so see ya."

"See ya tomorrow, Zell," he led him out.

He closed the door behind him with a heavy sigh. He was happy he had Zell as a friend like he had wished for, but another boy was driving him to stay awake.

Returning to his computer, he saw that KungSushi still wasn't on as he had hoped. Maybe he wouldn't be on tonight. Maybe he wouldn't be on for a while. The thought of waiting any longer than a night drove him crazy. After a few minutes of surfing for music, there was a knock at his door. "Is it him," he thought. He ran to the door to find Nida on the other side. Shocked to say the least, Seifer uttered, "Yes?"

"Um, is Irvine here?" he blushed.

Seifer let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "He's still at the docks, I think. You can probably catch him on his way in in a bit. You want me to leave him a message or something?"

"Um, nah. I'll just catch him later," he said disheartened.

Closing the door again, he pondered the possibility of Nida and Irvine. "It could work." Sitting back at his computer, he saw he had a message and KungSushi still wasn't on.

_I'll be over in a few. I've got to take a shower._

_KungSushi_

Trying to manage his excitement, Seifer raced into the bathroom and checked himself over. Aside from the bruise on his stomach, he was looking pretty good. After that he sat nonchalantly at his desk until there was a knock on the door. Before he could open it, Irvine waltzed through the door and asked. "Any calls?"

Irked at the intrusion, Seifer answered, "No, but Nida came by a few minutes ago."

"Nida?" Irvine's ears perked. "What'd he say?"

"Well, he didn't say much, but he blushed a lot and asked for you."

"Well spank my ass and call me a cherry picker. Maybe I should talk to him."

Eager to get him out of the room, he urged him on. "Yeah, he was really turning red. You should go console him before he finds another guy to pine after."

"Sure, I just gotta take a shower first," he tried to walk to the bathroom before Seifer stopped him.

"Nah, you should go now. He just left. You should be able to catch him," he persisted.

"Sheesh, I'm going already," he grabbed his shoes and walked out.

Returning to his computer, Seifer cursed his roommate's sex life for a week. "May Nida give him no play!"

After logging off and starting a game of Solitaire up, there was another knock. "I swear if it's not him, I'm gonna break something," he mumbled. He slid the door open to find a heart-shaped face with ocean blue eyes and blonde hair flopped around his face.

"Zell?" he asked not believing who was in front of him.

All Zell could do was stare at his tall Scarface. His mouth moved, but no words came out. Frustrated with himself, he looked away from the eyes above him and to the floor below him.

Realizing he had said nothing besides his friend's name, he ushered him in without a word. He sat him down on his bed and sat across from him on Irvine's. He gazed at the boy before him in a pair of smaller shorts and a T-shirt, without gel in his hair. He was different in mannerisms, no longer loud in word or bodily expression, but the same Zell he had known since he was a child. "So Squall tried to kill you?" he asked.

"No, it wasn't Squall. But Squall tried to force himself on me when he was dumped by Nida," he hugged his legs again.

"Who was it then?" He wanted to help his friend. Seeing him hug his legs like that again tugged at his heartstrings.

He hid behind his knees and whispered, "Irvine."

"What!" He didn't believe it. Then he remembered how he'd said it was a gun before and how he'd been upset when Irvine tried to protect him. "God, fucking Irvine." He couldn't help but get angry about it.

"Don't let him know I told you. He might hurt me again," he still hid behind his knees.

"I'll protect you if he tries. I promise."

He lifted his head and exhaled loudly. "Are you mad it's me?"

"Not at all, Zell, not in the least. We're friends now, right?"

"Yeah. I'm not mad either. I'm glad it's you."

He raised an eyebrow, "Why? I mean I know you don't hate me anymore, but online we were more open than we are. You know what gets me excited, and I know you're on bottom. You have to admit our conversation was heading south."

Zell smiled, "What are you really asking, Seifer?"

"I don't know," he gave up.

He lurched forward, "You want to know if we're still gonna be like that."

"So want if I do. Don't you want to know?" Seifer said forwardly.

Zell thought for a moment then walked and kneeled before the seated Seifer. Seifer didn't retreat but still gave the shorter blonde a questioning look. Zell found Seifer's hand and placed it on his face. Then he hesitantly touched the scar on Seifer's face softly, as if any negative flinch would send him back to his corner. The taller blonde pet his face quietly, indulging in the feel of the other, the one he vowed to protect. He was soft, unlike the battle-torn boy he knew. His skin reminded him of the summer breeze that had swept past his skin off the cliffs of Dollet. Zell's touch gave him something to wish for; more, much more. His eyes called him to say something or do something. He pulled Zell's head toward his as the boy between his knees complied, pulling the taller man closer with both hands. New sparks ripped the nerves in his skin alive without more than a touch from his counterpart. Soon his hands pressed harder and Seifer ended the embrace with a yelp.

"Your stomach!" he remembered. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he unbuttoned his vest and threw it to the floor. "Now you can see what you're touching so you don't hurt me."

"Wait," he paused.

"What?"

"Let's move to yoì¥Á37 33ð¿3333333333333&w33

3bjbjUU3333333333333333333 Ž33733733&s333333333333333333333333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤33333333333333333l33333 3333333 333 3333333 3333333 3333333 3333333 333µ33333333333´3333333 333333 333333 333333 33

3ì¥Á37 33ð¿3333333333333&w33

3bjbjUU3333333333333333333 Ž33733733&s333333333333333333333333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤333333333ÿÿ¤33333333333333333l33333 3333333 333 3333333 3333333 3333333 3333333 333µ33333333333´3333333 333333 333333 333333 33

3ked in the dim light.

"If you do that, I won't be able to control myself. I'd . . ." he was stopped by Zell's lips.

"That's the point, Seifer," he said and cut himself about an inch long line below his clavicle. He flinched a little, but held his gaze with Seifer.

"You don't understand", Seifer mouthed, but he was all too gone to the sight of Zell's blood beginning to trickle down his chest. He pinned the smaller boy down and gently licked the falling blood from the wound. It was better than any blood he'd tasted, probably because it was someone he knew and cared for instead of an enemy on a mission. His blood was richer, less tainted. All he wanted was more. Before he knew it, he was biting down to get more, feeding off of Zell's moans until a small painful yelp leaked from his mouth. Snapped out of it, to some extent, he sat up and pulled Zell to him. "I'm sorry. You okay?"

Shocked from the amount of care from his new lover, he uttered a tiny "yes". Cuddled under the chin of his new, tall love, he noticed the hardness digging into his side. Searching with his hand, he found the source and caressed it, feeling Seifer's quickening breath on his hair. Mutterings soon followed. "You sure you wanna . . . do that?"

Seifer then began kissing his hair, telling him not to stop. His still arms began unbuttoning Zell's shorts for better access. Gaining it, a hand slid under his waistband and into his boxers. Light caresses were all he needed to get to where Seifer was. Seifer began to hear similar panting which fueled his desire further. Soon he was pulling off Zell's remaining clothing to see his lover in the dim light. Zell yanked off Seifer's open pants and tried to rid Seifer of the rest of his clothing while remaining submissive. In accordance with Zell's desire, he rid himself of it when he saw Zell erect and the blood dripping from the cut. Both things sent him into overdrive. He launched himself between Zell's legs. There, he licked at the cut and ground lightly against the smaller boy's pelvis. The taste and the feel of Zell against him drove him to a place he'd never reached with anyone else. He needed him, and he needed him right then. "Zell, I . . . Please, I need you. I need to be in you, right now," he cooed into his ear.

Zell panted in reply, "Do it soon Seifer, or I might . . ."

Seifer reached into a drawer by his bed for lube and a condom. Finding them by memory of previous experiences, he backed away from the object of his lust and opened the lube. "You know the drill right?"

"'Course," he said. "Hurry up."

Smiling, he pushed a lubed finger past his entrance feeling for that spot. His gaze fixed on Zell's facial expressions prying for that look, the one that told him not to stop. Curling his fingers, he found it. Zell's face relaxed and his breathing became coarse. After gathering more lube, he returned to Zell, watching his face and feeding off of a little more blood to sustain his erection. After Zell had loosened up a bit more, Seifer smothered his cock in the cold substance and pushed into Zell without warning. As Zell had told him before, the pain didn't get to him and he merely whimpered. The first thrust went all the way in, which surprised him. It usually took a few thrusts to fit all of him into his partner. "You still good?"

"Faster, Seifer," he replied almost panicky.

Thrusting faster, Zell became tighter for him, wrapping himself around all the right parts of him. Zell was better than any other he'd had. Already, not that his past lays were bad, but sloppy to say the least. Everything about Zell seemed to fit Seifer, and from what he heard, it was the same for Zell. The smaller boy's panting bounced off of his shoulder as he plunged further and harder into him. The stamina the fencer showed during battle began to fade as he grew closer and closer to coming. From the friction of Seifer on top of him and the lamented pleasure that fell from his lover's lips, Zell was well on his way to spilling himself. After a few more quick thrusts, he buried himself deep into Zell one final time, releasing himself. After which, he pumped his uke a few times, sending him over the edge. "Seif. . .fer," he cried out quietly.

The blonde seme was still too far-gone in his orgasm to notice he had returned to the bruised laceration. Licking the drying blood away, he pulled out of Zell and pulled the offending rubber off of his skin. Watching him throw the condom into a garbage can nearby, Zell said, "Maybe you should let that heal a bit, eh?"

"Hn." Reluctantly, he departed from the cut and spooned with his new lover. "Sorry, I just . . . I told you I can't control myself if there's blood."

"It's okay. Whatever helps you get off. That was great Seifer," he purred back.

"Yeah, I know. Let's get some sleep okay? I'll wake you up before your mission."

"You sure it's okay if I stay here? What if your roommate gets back?" he sat up a bit.

Pulling him back onto the mattress, he decided not to tell him who exactly his roommate was. "He won't he back until the morning, he's got a date."

Settling back against Seifer, he blinked a couple times before asking, "Does this mean we can be this close from now on?"

"Yeah. Now shut up and sleep," he laughed. Post kissing the back of Zell's neck, he lay his head down to rest. At least for that day, the fireworks had ended.


	2. Uncovering secrets

The sun rose without either snuggling boy noticing. The older of the pair hissed at the recognition of the door opening. A taller brunette stood wide-eyed blocking another brunette's view. Nida pushed the protesting cowboy out of the way to get out of the hallway and into a room were they could make out again. Putting a hand over the bewildered boy's eyes, Irvine hissed back at Seifer. "What do you think you're doing? And with him? In my room!" Sitting up and covering Zell's eyes, he scoffed. "It's my room too, and it's my business. If you leave, we'll be out of here in an hour. Now go." 

"Fine, but we are going to have a long discussion when you get back," he pulled Nida out of the room and slammed the door.

Zell pulled Seifer's hand down and let the returning insecurity drip from his lips. "That was Irvine. You don't have to shield me from him. I'm sorry for getting you into this. He's so mad at me, I can tell."

Holding him again, Seifer replied, "No, he's mad at me. Don't worry, we'll figure something out. I told you I'd protect you from him right? Just believe in me."

Trying to reclaim a little sleep, the pair was woken up a second time by Seifer's computer beeping. He crawled over Zell and into the computer room to find an urgent message blinking.

_You are to report to my office at 0900 hours for a mission._

_Cid_

Smirking, he yelled back to the waking Zell, "Looks like we're both on missions today."

"Huh?" he asked ridding his eyes of sleep.

"I'm on a mission at nine, too. Let's get up and out of here before we're late."

The mission was simple really. Go to Dollet and destroy the nest of monsters that were overpopulating the area. But Cid insisted on going on and on and on over the little things that had become primary to them. "Keep in contact and don't come back until you're done. Good, got it. Now shut your trap already!" he thought loudly.

When Cid had finished, he dismissed the trio and called in the next group.

As Seifer was evacuating the room with Quistis and Nida, Squall and Irvine trotted in in the middle of a peculiar conversation. "Bubble wrap, Stormy, bubble wrap," Irvine stated with a bit of disappointment lingering in his husky voice.

"Bubble wrap?" his lip twisted in disbelief.

"Bubble wrap."

"Man, you really," his words were cut short by the clearing of Cid's throat.

Cautiously, he swatted Zell in the ass as he passed by trailing behind the other two. Zell merely stuck his tongue out at the taller blonde to which Seifer smiled out of the door. As his face twisted away from his short blonde, he caught Squall eyeing a certain brunette on his team. Brushing it to the back of his mind, he tuned into Quistis who was explaining their schedule. "After that we'll meet up at the entrance at 1300 hours. We'll have to take the trains to get there so expect a long trip. Got it?"

"Yup," Nida replied.

Quistis looked up to Seifer to see the blonde nod at her. "Good. Bring enough rations for the next three days and stock up on spells. I don't need to tell you to junction all your GF's. I don't know how many days worth on monsters we have to kill, but we will need all of our strength. See you guys at 1300."

Quistis headed toward the classrooms and Nida followed Seifer's stride to the cafeteria. Seifer couldn't resist the urge to bring up Irvine's effect on the short brunette once they sat down with their not so gourmet sandwiches. "So, did you ever find Irvine?"

He nodded, doing his best to repress a blush. Nida was expressive and about as good as Zell at being stoic. "Yes, thanks for telling him I stopped by. I'm sorry if our coming back this morning massed things up for you and your date, whoever it was."

Seifer was content on leaving it at that, but the brunette couldn't contain himself. He watched Nida's face lit up over his bread.

"It's not what you're thinking though. Irvine and I just took a walk and I yammered on about nothing. He's a good listener."

"You have to be to deal with all the women he associates with."

"Seriously. He must know all the women in this garden! But he's not a womanizer like he makes himself out to be. You probably know that since you room with him. It's nice just talking to another guy for a change, you know not having to bullshit like you do with most of the people you know."

Seifer nodded in reply.

"Yeah, well I'll see you later," he parted to his own dorm.

Finishing his breakfast, Seifer bid him adieu and walked until he reached the last dorm on the left. Dreading the "long discussion" Irvine had intended, he hesitantly pushed the door open to see Irvine sitting on his bed looking as pensive as the cowboy could. "Let's get this over with Irvine." He sat across from him on his own unmade linens.

"What was Zell doing naked in your bed this morning? You two aren't even friends. Did you get him drunk? Are you taking advantage of him?" he accused with a soft voice, the same soft voice he'd always used with Selphie.

"Irvine, you know as well as I do that I wouldn't do that to someone I care about. I know you're good friends with Zell, but so am I. I care about him as much as you do. I'd never want to see him hurt by anyone let alone me. I've spent too much of my life aggravating him."

Irvine laughed at the absurd things that he heard came from Seifer's mouth. "You could never care about him as much as I do. Ever. And since when are you friends with him?"

"We rekindled our friendship yesterday," he said matter-of-factly.

"Ha! I've been friends with him before anyone else, and you don't deserve him."

"Why because you don't?" Seifer slipped. Seeing the stern look on Irvine's face go almost explosive he quickly changed subjects. "And I was friends with him way before you. Remember the orphanage? When were you first buddies with him? Maybe when you were nine. I was there for him, more inseparable than you two ever used to be, since we'd set eyes on each other. That's why Zell forgave me so quickly after the war. That's why he was with me in bed, because we care for each other. Sure I may have been a major asshole to him, but he knew that I would never hurt him or Selphie or Rinoa or Quistis or the rest of you."

"Then what about Squall huh? Why did you two mutilate each other?"

Seifer turned his eyes to the floor and uttered, "Ask Nida."

"Nida?" he digested the name of his friend in shock. "What does. . ."

"Just ask him, you fuck. I'm sick of explaining myself to you. And don't you dare even look at Zell the wrong way because I will punish you if you upset him again," he warned with a particular venom in his blue eyes.

Irvine proudly stared back at him without a word, but intent to do harm. He stalked out of the door with a white bag over his shoulder.

Seifer fell onto the bed that still carried the aroma of his lover with eyes like the sea between two islands. That heart-shaped face smiled through childhood and through adversity seemingly only for him. Recalling their childhood attachment to each other, he replayed his favorite memory before drifting off into a catnap.

_"Seifaa!" Zell called out from under the shade of a willow tree near the shore._

_Little Seifer trotted to the crouching blonde and said with a pointed digit, "You're supposed to say Polo, not Seifer."_

_"Yeah, but Seifaa sounds better."_

_Seifer sighed and sat next to the blonde. "You know my name doesn't sound like that."_

_Zell crawled closer to him and rested his head on Seifer's shoulder. "Seifaa?"_

_"Hn?"_

_"Can I tell you a secret?"_

_Seifer turned his head a bit to hear his counterpart better._

_"I think Matron hates me."_

_"Why? Matron loves all of us."_

_"She just looks at me funny sometimes, and yesterday she gave Seffie more eggs than me! And I'm a boy! I got more growin' to do!" he huffed._

_"She doesn't hate you, Zell. And next time she looks at you funny, I'll protect you. You won't ever be sad again as long as I'm around," he put an arm around him._

_"You'll always be with me right? What if we get 'dopted?" he said with a bit of sadness. He had heard Matron talking on the phone with a lady who was said his name a lot. He was terribly worried he'd lose everyone. The fact that Seifer would be far away hurt him more than anything._

_"Well if we do, I'll tell Matron that they have to take the both of us," his small-handed grip became a little tighter._

_"You will?" he was beginning to doze off._

_"Hn," he replied and watched his Zell doze off in his arms. That little face burned into his memory as he knew that someday they would separate. He might never see his best friend again. Try as he might to never let that happen, he knew Matron was stronger than him. As a vow to never stop thinking or caring for Zell, he kissed the top of his head, and soon after drifted off to sleep._

With the beeping of his computer, he awoke and packed up his bag. He then headed for the entrance, bumping into Nida on the way. "Yo."

"Hey, are you excited?"

"What for? It's just another mission."

"Yeah, but we get to go to Dollet! I'm usually sent off into the middle of some forest or something to watch endangered monster give birth. I mean, for once we're going to a city!"

"Hn."

Quistis tapped her foot at the lagging boys and pushed them into the car headed for the station in Balamb. "Took you two long enough, you were only five minutes early!"

"Oh chill, Quistis. We'll be in Dollet before you know it."

On the other side of the tracks, Zell stared blankly out of the window while Irvine and Squall argued about something unimportant in the background. They'd been on the train for four hours and in none one of those fours hours did Zell get up to shadowbox or to punch Squall again for being an asshole to him a few days before. On top of which, Irvine had been giving him looks he could feel without even so much as turning his head. He knew Irvine was mad at him, but it too would pass, he hoped.

"Seifer," he mulled over the name in his head. The pictures that appeared in his mind when the blonde was mentioned, the smell of him in the morning, the anxiety of meeting him for the first time after knowing him for so long; all these things washed over his brain slowly. His heartstrings were pulled by the bits of different emotions left behind the waves. It was strange to him how a lot of these were confusion, but overwhelming those were the pieces of faith he had in Seifer. Only these bits would lead him to finding the real Seifer he had known all along. "I'll try and hurry home so I can try to sort out this mess. It's only been a few days since I've found out who you were. Now I have to find out who you are. I have to put Irvine behind me. Maybe seeing him now is making it worse. Please, Irvine, don't flip out at me again," he thought. His brow tensed at the thought of the incident.

"You okay, Zell?" asked a daisy laced voice.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and swatted the hand away. "I'm fine."

They sat on the train for almost a whole day. The unnecessary stops made Nida a bit nauseous. Quistis sat in the cabin and went over another report she had to file the second they made it back to the garden. Her head turned slightly to see Seifer staring out the cabin window at something she didn't quite see. It puzzled her to see how he'd been acting lately. She wouldn't have noticed anything, but outside of the garden, letting him be away from everyone else, he was quiet and sighed a few times in the last hour. She also knew better than to ask him about it. If he really needed to tell someone, he'd tell Fujin or Raijin, she was sure of that. Or would he?

"Nothing will be the same between Zell and I ever again, but the care and need for each other. Even when I was messing with him or just picking on him, I needed him there. We were "rivals" in a way. I was the bully. Why does that carry so much stigma? I deserve it, I suppose. I'm the one that didn't show him I cared in the right way. Only time will tell if he's actually forgiven me or not. Until then, I might as well just protect him," he followed his train of thoughts to the brunette across the cabin who was fighting the urge to ralph on his new black pants.

His arms were wound around his stomach and he leaned over his knees just in case. Maybe had had a little too much to drink with Irvine the previous night . . .

"You okay, Nida?" he asked a bit too casually. He didn't want to come off as even more of an ass. "You don't look so good."

The only answer that could come out of Nida's mouth was a truthful one, "Yeah. I guess I should take better care of myself." He tossed Quistis a weak smile. She merely nodded.

"You'll be fighting on this mission just to teach yourself a lesson. Nida, you're almost too responsible," Quistis giggled at herself for sounding to hypocritical. "And you, Seifer. Do your best on this mission so all of us can get back as soon as possible."

Nodding, his eyes found the window again.

By the time they had arrived at Dollet, the sun had set over the cliffs. Irvine convinced Squall to let them spend the night in the city instead of on the grass or in one of those stinky tents. Zell didn't put up much a fight about the decision. Although he was meant for the outdoors, he did love room service.

When they found their rooms, Zell was pleased to find himself in a single room while the other two shared a room with two beds. Exhausted from the fighting on the way to the city, he plopped face first on the bed and spent a few minutes feeling himself breathe into the sheets. Only in Dollet did the rooms come with satin covered feather comforters.

On the other side of town, a taller blonde spent the time walking around the busy city watching happy people travel past him between the thousands of lights that illuminated the streets and shops. A gloved hand graced his cheek in remembrance of when he saw Zell through his window before the assassination attempt a couple years before. It was late as it was then, and he stared out of his hotel window wasting time until the sorceress called on him again. It had been a dull night and that short glimpse of the perky blonde in the crowd lit up his night like no light in Dollet ever could.

Again he walked through the streets as he had many times before, but he knew his light was somewhere else, somewhere shining so brightly, but no one would be there to really see it. Even with thousands of lights, everything seemed dim.

After a good hour of admiring the familiar sights and sounds of Dollet, he happened across a club he hadn't ever seen before. The lights were dim inside and the door was open for anyone to enter. From wall to wall, there was black paint with old neon signs placed randomly along them. In the back of the club, past the dance floor with sparse patrons, there rested a long bar with only two souls enjoying the spirits. Taking a seat far between them, he motioned for a hard drink, which probably would have been against Quistis's advice. Nida and the instructor had crawled into bed early, knowing full well that the day would begin too early for everyone's tastes. Still, Seifer doubted they would have joined him anyhow.

Swishing his drink around in the short glass, he watched the people on the floor dance closely and slowly to the music. One man was petting the side of the another's face gently while holding a sincere gaze into his eyes. After further inspection, Seifer realized what kind of bar he had walked into. Sighing, he drank the rest of his drink and ordered another. The melancholy mood had finally set in and all he wished for was to fall asleep in a warm bed thinking of his short blonde who was across the world for all he knew. His shining light must have been in the east where the sun rose from, and if he was lucky, it would set in the west, by his side.

From the combination of content lovers and alcohol, Seifer collected his heavy coat and called it a night. The dose of spirits made him drowsy, limp, making his wishes of a warm bed even more appealing. But, on his way back, he came across the gate where the Sorceress was nearly assassinated. He couldn't help but gaze at the golden tresses and shimmering pillars remembering the coldness in her eyes as she wiped his mind clean of the warmth the others had shown him during his stay at the garden. As he turned his head away, he remembered the window in the tower where he saw Zell's shining eyes. In either a drunken haze or nostalgia, he opened the door under the gate, climbed up the ladder, and onto the ledge where the window shown the ground far below. Leaning his elbows on that ledge, he reconstructed what he thought Zell might have seen from this spot. How he was controlled and used, how he talked down to them, how much he wanted them dead . . . It all still hurt. "How could I have thought that way? We were never all friends, but we sure as weren't mortal enemies, not even Squall and I. Zell, Quistis, Nida, they must have all hated me. They say they've forgiven me, but Zell, he was the only one who meant it. I can see it in his eyes when he laughs and in his dimples when he smiles. I miss you."

"I miss you, too," Seifer heard from somewhere far away. He looked around, through the window, but nothing. Nowhere did he find the source of the voice. Then, he looked down through the window to see a familiar Chocobo walking down the road to wait for a bus. Hardly believing it, he practically jumped down the ladder and sprinted down the street to find only strangers, unfamiliar faces. He cursed himself for imagining him.

Finally giving up on being awake, he walked back to his hotel past the main strip of commerce. Brutally disappointed by the day, he opened his door, stripped down and sunk face first into the cold, hard bed.


	3. Confronting preview

**Burning Secrets**

Pairing: Irvine x Zell, Irvine x Nida, Zell x Seifer

Completed: 2/3

Author's note: I'm not a Japanese man, so I don't own Final Fantasy. 

The mourning sun shone particularly dim thrown through the tall thin window beside the bed. With contempt of the star, he glared defiantly as Quistis knocked on the door and shouted from him to be ready in an hour. She sounded like a Chocobo in heat shrieking for a partner. Smirking, he muttered, "Selphie's not here, go away."

Rising out of the warm bed into the cool morning air, he was reminded of the massive cold-blooded creatures that they'd killed the day before. They hadn't seemed "normal"; too strong, too foreign. They resembled no Grants or Dragons, not even the monstrous form Rinoa had taken early in the morning. He couldn't place his finger on what they were

Shrugging it off, he jumped out of bed and into the shower. 

TBC. . .


End file.
